Lalli, the conspiracy theorist
by siamesercute
Summary: I which Lalli believes that Reynir is really an evil genius.


**A/N: I should probably be revising for my maths test tomorrow or writing chapters for my other fanfiction, but I don't feel motivated for that. I don't even know what I'm writing about right now, just that I want to write about Reynir.**

 **Let's count this as 'English revision'.**

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Reynir always acted like a happy person, someone that doesn't have the capability to do bad things (except for squishing tuna, but they weren't really that squished and Lalli preferred the biscuits that Mikkel had to tuna). He would talk rapidly in the weird language, the one that Tuuri had learnt, with a huge smile on his face, occasionally frowning and muttering something that probably translated to I'm so stupid. Everyone was fooled by his happy go lucky personality and his long ginger braid (Lalli was sure that the look on Emil's face had been one of awe).

But Lalli wasn't naïve, he wouldn't let himself be fooled by some hair, even if it was more amazing than Emil's hair. To Lalli, Reynir's true nature was very obvious.

Because what could the Icelandic be but an evil troll-controlling ninja mage that herds sheep?

That's right, nothing.

He had brought this conversation up with Emil the day before, but Emil was really stupid and never spoke or understood words. He spoke in a language that Tuuri had called Swedish, but Lalli knew better. The only languages that were real were Finnish: the language that clever people spoke and Icelandic: the language that evil people and people more stupid than Emil spoke.

He had learnt these facts from people that Onni had called conspiracy theorists, of course.

Lalli hadn't even brought this up with Tuuri yet, she thought that Reynir was adorable. Whenever Lalli brought up the evil mage Tuuri would start squealing about pairings, ships and yaoi. He had learnt not to talk about him after the second attempt.

But, Lalli knew that one day he would have to put a stop to Reynir's dream-invasions. Who knew what he would do when he realised that Lalli hadn't fallen for his trickery.

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Lalli watched as Reynir snuck out of the cat-tank. He had just finished scouting and had hid behind a bush when he saw the flash of red escaping their temporary home. Using his cat-skillz, he crept behind the evil genius, being careful of the braid (there was probably a laser hidden up there).

He rose his blade and was about to cut off the laser braid when he heard a yawn from behind him.

"Lalli, gbHF JGgv Kghb MBKMv?"

Lalli swiftly hid his blade as he and Reynir swung around to look at the intruder, who just happened to be Emil. The Finnish mage fixed him with a stony glare.

"Hello sparkles, would you like to join me in destroying his laser braid of evilness?"

But Emil simply tilted his head questioningly, reminding Lalli of the fact that he was an idiot.

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Incidents like those happened a lot, except for the fact that when Tuuri caught him she would stare at him with wide eyes and say that he needed therapy. And there was that one occasion where Reynir had screamed and hid behind Sigrun.

For a moment Lalli had thought that Reynir's terror had been real, but he had to remind himself that this guy was an evil ninja mage and that if he could control trolls, he could control his facial expression.

All thoughts of the ginger being evil, however, vanished when he came out of the building (with some books) to see Tuuri shooting at a troll with a spare pistol and Reynir fending it off with a plunger that must have come from the bathroom.

Between the six of them, they managed to kill the troll quickly and Lalli realised that Reynir wasn't really evil, just naïve (after all, he uses the language of the evil and didn't really seem that stupid).

From that day, Lalli vowed to protect the naïve Icelandic.

He even went as far as patting on the head.

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Reynir blinked in confusion as Lalli patted him on the head for the tenth time that day. He had absolutely no idea why the mage had stopped chasing him around with knives, but he had to admit that it was an improvement.

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 **I hope you liked it! It took me so long to come up with an idea…**


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